Holland 3-2 Uruguay

Holland will have their chance to exorcise the ghosts of World Cup finals past on Sunday after beating Uruguay 3-2.

Goals from Giovanni van Bronckhorst, Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben secured a semi-final victory over Uruguay in Cape Town and a chance to avenge defeats on the game's biggest stage in 1974 and 1978.

Bert van Marwijk's side may not delight like the 'Total Football' Dutch teams from the playing days of Johan Cruyff.
But having waited so long, the Oranje will care little for that as they prepare to bring their own glow to Johannesburg in a meeting with either Spain or Germany.
Captain Van Bronckhorst brilliantly put his side in front before former Manchester United star Diego Forlan levelled with a goal that ultimately was not quite enough, even though Maximiliano Pereira's strike gave a glimmer of hope in stoppage time.
Forlan was too isolated to cause Holland damage after Van Bronckhorst scored that stunning opener. And, with the clock ticking down towards half-time, there seemed to be little on when Forlan collected possession 40 yards out. But, offered space to advance into, he then delivered the kind of shot this hotly-debated Jabulani ball was made for, though big questions will be asked of goalkeeper Maarten Stekelenburg.
Stekelenburg's part in the equaliser ensured Van Bronckhorst's opener was the better of two eye-catching first-half efforts. As with Forlan, there seemed no danger when the Dutch skipper receive possession on the left.
Due to retire when this tournament is over, the 35-year-old defender planted a fierce shot high to the goalkeeper's left, so far into the corner that it struck the inside of the post before finding the net.
Uruguay had not made their impact in South Africa through dazzling skill and unchecked flair. They are defensively aware and exceptionally well organised by wily old coach Oscar Tabarez.
Netherlands took their time to get about their task in the second period as Uruguay's defence threatened to hold firm, so it took a bit of good fortune to bring about a second goal.
Sneijder's shot deflected off Maxi Pereira, and past an off guard Robin van Persie, before flashing beyond the outstretched arm of Muslera and into the corner of the net.
Three minutes later, Robben rose to head home Kuyt's cross and the game looked over.
Uruguay did get a late second through defender Pereira's strike from the edge of the area and then besieged the Dutch goal. But they couldn't find a third to take the game into extra-time.
For Uruguay, the game was up. For Holland, the glory that proved so unobtainable all those years ago, is in reach again.
source from Soccernet

Cock!!!??

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it…you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!!”

Word Perfect Helpline

Ini adalah sebuah kisah benar mengenai Word Perfect Helpline (bantuan > berkenaan Word Perfect melalui telefon). Seorang pekerja di helpline ini telah diberhentikan. Walau bagaimanapun, pekerja ini telah menyaman Word Perfect atas dakwaan "Memecat Tanpa Sebab". Inilah perbualan telefon pekerja berkenaan yang menyebabkan beliau dipecat:




"Ridge Hall computer assistance; boleh saya bantu anda?"

"Ya, err, Saya ada masalah dengan Word Perfect."

"Masalah bagaimana tu encik?"

"Saya sedang menaip, tiba-tiba semua perkataan tersebut hilang."

"Hilang?"

"Ya, ia hilang."

"Hmm. Macam mana monitor anda kelihatan sekarang?"

"Kosong, tak ada apa-apa."

"Tak ada apa-apa?"

"Blank, ia tak respon apa-apa bila saya menaip."

"Adakah anda masih didalam WordPerfect, atau anda telah keluar?"

"Macam mana saya nak tau?"

"Bolehkah anda nampak C: prompt pada skrin anda?"

"Apa tu si-perom?"

"Tak apalah, boleh tak anda gerak-gerakkan mouse anda di skrin?"

"Cursor pun tak ada: kan saya dah kata ianya tak memberi sebarang respon bila saya taip."

"Adakah monitor anda ada power indicator?"

"Monitor tu apa?"

"Ianya adalah sebuah alat yang ada skrin padanya dan ianya berbentuk seperti TV."

"Adakah ianya mempunyai lampu kecil yang menyala bila monitor anda dihidupkan?"

"Saya tak tahu."

"OK, kalau begitu cuba lihat di belakang monitor anda dan cuba cari socket dimana wayar power anda di pasangkan. Boleh nampak tak?"

"Rasa-rasanya."

"Bagus. Ikut wayar tersebut hingga ke plug, dan adakah ianya dipasangkan pada soket elektrik di dinding anda."

"Yaa, terpasang."

"Masa anda lihat di belakang monitor tadi, perasankah anda ada dua wayar terpasang di belakang monitor anda, bukannya satu?"

"Iya ke?."

"Sebenarnya ada dua. Sekarang saya nak anda pergi balik ke belakang monitor anda dan cari satu lagi wayar tersebut"

"Okay, jumpa dah."

"Cuba ikut wayar tersebut dan beritahu saya samada ianya terpasang dengan ketat di belakang computer anda."

"Alamak tak sampai laa."

"Ok... boleh cuba jenguk-jenguk samada ianya terpasang atau tidak?"

"Tak boleh."

"Tak boleh juga ke jika anda cuba panjat apa-apa seperti kerusi dan tengok kat belakang tu?"

"Oh, saya tak nampak bukannya sebab angle tak betul, tapi pasal gelap."

"Gelap?"

"Ya. Lampu pejabat ni terpadam dan satu-satunya sumber cahaya yang saya ada adalah dari cahaya tingkap."

"OK, kalau macam tu hidupkanlah lampu pejabat anda."

"Tak boleh."

"Tak boleh? Kenapa?"

"Sebab kat pejabat saya "blackout", tak ada elektrik."

"Blackout... tak ada elektrik? Aha, Okay, kita dah dapat penyelesaiannya sekarang. Anda masih mempunyai kotak, manual dan barang-barang pembungkusan semasa komputer ini dihantar?"

"Ada... saya simpan kat dalam almari."

"Bagus. pergi ambil barang-barang tersebut dan unplug komputer anda. Kemudian bungkuskan sepertimana masa ianya baru-baru sampai dulu. Hantar balik ke kedai dimana anda beli dulu."

"Ehh? Ye ke? Macam tu sekali punya teruk ke?"

"Iya, rasa-rasanya macam itulah."

"Err... okey lah. Nampaknya saya kena buat macam tu lah. Tapi nak cakap apa dengan pekedai tu?"

"Beritahu mereka anda terlalu bangang untuk memiliki sebuah komputer."

WORK!!!

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.
They are WORK,FAMILY,HEALTH,FRIENDS and SPIRIT and you are keeping
all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that WORK is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other four balls -FAMILY,HEALTH,FRIENDS and SPIRIT- are made of glass.
If your drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or
even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strived for it..

30 second speech by Bryan Dyson - Former Coca-Cola Ceo.

Cucur Udang!!!

Ada sorang bekas samseng tu dia dan wifenya jual cucur udang setelah dia


insaf dan tidak mengaktifkan dirinya dalam bidang kesamsengan lagi...

setelah beberapa tahun berniaga maka terkenallah cucurnya seantero

negerinya... dan pada satu ari dgn tiba2 datangla sekumpulan manusia yg

jugak samseng sepertinya satu ketika dulu hendak merasa sendiri kelazatan

cucurnya seperti yg diperkatakan ramai makhluk... maka sekumpulan samseng

tu pun memborong habis kesemua cucurnya... dengan lahapnya ketua samseng tu

merasmikan dulu merasai cucur tersebut...dan dengan tak semene2 ketua

samseng tu pon kata... " dah banyak ketul aku makan cucur ni... tapi satu

ekor udang pon aku tak nampak" dan penjual cucur udang rasa bengang tahap

maksima apabila disindir begitu... dia pun selinsingkan lengan baju dan

berkata dengan selambanya... "ooooo... cucur udang aku takde udang korang

bising... tu... orang yg jual cucur badak tapi takde badak... korang tak

bising pulak"

Solat Dhuha

Solat Dhuha untuk jiwa, murah rezki



Sebagai umat Islam, kita wajib yakin bahawa segala sesuatu adalah

milik mutlak Allah SWT. Seiring hakikat itu & ketika ekonomi negara

gawat ini, eloklah untuk kita smua bermuhasabah & kembali mendekati

Allah.

Mengapa tidak segala keluhan spt bajet lari, hutang bertimbun &

pelbagai kesusahan lain diadukan kpd Allah..? Dia bersifat Ar-Razzak

iaitu Yg Maha Memberi Rezki.

Satu kaedah mudah untuk mendekati Allah ialah dgn mengerjakan solat

Dhuha. Hanya dgn 2 rakaat setelah matahari naik kadar tinggi "segalah"

- kira-kira 30 minit setelah terbit matahari-kita boleh mengadu untung

nasib kpd-Nya.

Bermula dgn niat solat sunat itu, iringi bacaan al-Fatihah dgn surah

al-Kafirun, al-Ikhlas @ al-Syams pd rakaat pertama serta Surah Dhuha

pd rakaat kedua. Lakukan solat ini dgn keyakinan ia mampu memberi

ketenangan & kemurahan rezki.

Setelah selesai solat disunatkn pula berdoa dgn doa memohon kurniaan

rezki: " Ya Allah, sesungguhnya waktu dhuha waktu dhuha-Mu, cahayanya

cahaya-Mu, kekuatannya kekuatan-Mu, keindahnya keindah-Mu, Ya Allah

sekira nya ada rezki di langit maka turunkannya, jika ada di bumi maka

kluarkannya, jika jauh maka perdekatkannya & jika ada nya hampir maka

permudahkannya dgn kebenaran Dhuha-Mu, cahaya-Mu, kekuatan-Mu &

kesucian-Mu, berilah kpdku sebagaimana engkau berikan kpd hambamu yg

soleh. Dan smuga Allah cucuri rahmat ke atas penghulu kami Nabi

Muhammad & ke atas keluaraga para sahabat baginda sekelian. segala

puji bg Allah Tuhan pentadbir seluruh alam...."

Ingat lah bagaimana kuatpun seseorg bekerja mencari wang, rezki ttp di

tangan -Nya. Justeru umat Islam disarankn berjinak2 dgn amalan mudah

ini krn selain rezki bertmbh, byk kelebihan disediakan oleh Allah.

Antaranya keampunan dosa spt sabda Nabi Muhammad: "Brg siapa yg

sentiasa mengerjakan dua rakaat dhuha, diampunkn dosa2 nya wpun sebyk

buih dilautan".

Buat Renungan...